A t 29 I had lost my career in hospitality because of Covid and decided to throw my hat in the ring as a contestant on MasterChef Australia. By the time I was eliminated in 2021, restaurants still weren’t open and I didn’t know what to do with my life. My lease was coming to an end in Melbourne and I wasn’t doing well with the lockdowns and people recognising me from TV. So I decided to retreat to my father’s place in Adelaide for a while.
By early 2022 I was dating a guy but, after a few months, he ghosted me suddenly.
One sunny autumn weekend as I was miserably assembling some flatpack furniture at Dad’s, I realised I had to get out of the house. I got on Grindr and this lovely guy, Chris, fresh from England, started messaging me.
I’d lived in the UK in my early 20s and I knew how hard it was to make friends in a new city. Still processing the shock ghosting, I invited Chris for a drink – just as mates – so neither of us had to be lonely on such a beautiful day. He said he couldn’t imagine anything better.
We met at Brighton beach and had a beer. What followed was one of the most wonderful and unexpected dates of my life. It went for nine hours! We chatted and chatted, not wanting it to end. I wasn’t anticipating any chemistry but it was there, and we spent the night together.
The next day I took him on a tour of Adelaide’s wine regions and then sent him on his way. He was only in town for two days, en route to his new life in Sydney. I didn’t think I’d ever see him again.
But we stayed in touch as he settled into the harbour city. One thing led to another and, by May, little more than a month after we’d met, we both wound up in Melbourne. Chris had been offered a job and I had always planned to return at some point. So without ever having discussed the details, or even admitting to ourselves we’d caught real feelings, we’d moved to the same city and became a sort-of-couple, while still keeping things casual.
In July I was scheduled to be on this reality show, The Challenge, that was filming in Argentina. The show had a Survivor/Big Brother vibe and I didn’t think I was going to do very well. I figured I’d be eliminated within a week but, much to my surprise, I turned out to be quite the Challenge beast and made it all the way to the final.
We were only allowed one 15-minute video call a week and in that month I used 53 of my 60 allotted minutes talking to Chris.
I’m not a person who likes to show vulnerability but the demands of the show broke me in ways I wasn’t expecting. Being filmed 24/7 and doing all these insane challenges put my mental health on a knife’s edge. We weren’t even “official” but Chris would pick up the phone at 3am and just be there for me. No games, no bullshit: he was my support when I needed someone the most.
In the final week of the competition we were given time to write a letter to someone in our life. I wrote to Chris and all my feelings came flooding out. I told him I was falling for him and that if he ever read this letter it meant I was no longer just falling. I was, for sure, in love. I tucked it away and made my way back to Melbourne to recover.
Once home it became clearer that the reality TV filming had taken a real toll on my mental health and the network started paying for my therapy. Chris was with me all the way.
A few months later I gave him the letter. And he told me he loved me too. I didn’t know it at the time but those weekly therapy sessions were a blessing in disguise: they really set me up to be the best partner I could be for Chris.
When I lived in the UK, my dream was to find the love of my life and stay there for ever. Chris had his own ideas about what his time in Australia would look like – and they definitely did not include meeting his future husband in the first week!
We might not have got what we thought we wanted from our big solo adventures but in a roundabout way we have both found exactly what we were looking for. We’re engaged and plan to move back to England together next year.
Conor Curran’s cookbook Eat More Greek is available now through Murdoch (A$45)
